Mickey Mouse: About to Meet His Maker?

Mickey Mouse: About to Meet His Maker?

Gillian Smith, News, Science and the Environment

It’s no secret that the once beloved Mickey Mouse is being seen less and less behind the camera. Mr. Mouse, who just reached his 88th birthday, seems to prefer selling products with his own face on them rather than actually appearing in any movies.

Eager to find the reason behind the lack of red carpet appearances recently, we sent a team down to Orlando to catch a short interview with this legend of children’s entertainment. Mickey was still kind, but he could no longer hide his age. When questioned, he admitted he’s been suffering recently with serious ear cancer. Upon removing his hat, we noted that his already oversized ears have swollen beyond belief. His hearing has suffered, causing him to even need expensive ear plants. According to the mouse himself, “It’s been tough getting through all the comments,” as even a celebrity can be bullied about looks.

Mickey seemed eager to move the subject along, leaving us all to wonder: is this mouse nearing his final days? Even the idea of reenacting death on screen seemed to make Mickey nervous. When he brought up his lifelong desire to act in a dramatic horror movie, Mickey made a point of stating he “would love to play a survivor” if his contract allowed it. Such a vast change in genre focus can only be the result of an end-of-life crisis. Make your way to Disney World before it’s too late, for a certain iconic mouse is nearing his final days.